Knotty Affairs Read online

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  Aakash mumbled in a barely audible tone, ‘If it was only about money, we would not be having this discussion.’

  ‘What! What did you just say? Aakash, were you born on a merry-go-round? You have this really annoying habit of beating around the bush and building the tension before coming to the main point! What’s cooking up here?’ she asked, raising her forefinger and playfully tapping Aakash’s forehead.

  Aakash knew it was the final arrow in his quiver which was meant to hit the bull’s eye.

  With a playful smile, he carefully articulated what he had been thinking, ‘Okay, let’s, for a moment, imagine ourselves gearing up for an extravagant wedding in less than fifty days. Time is running out. Our parents are running helter-skelter in a bid to gift us the best day of our lives. Caterers, decorators, hall bookings, invitation cards, marriagerelated shopping, buying gifts, managing the guests out of town, hotel bookings, honeymoon planning…. Phew! The list of chores to be done is endless! And, also, with marriage playing on our minds, we have practically no time to think of or plan anything else whatsoever!’

  He looked at Aneri, trying to search her eyes to see if she was on the same plane as him or not. He said with conviction, ‘In that case, it hardly solves our purpose. We want our parents to stay together with us. It’s natural for some sort of affable chemistry to develop between them if we wish for this to happen.’

  ‘They are coming together because of us, Aakash. And we want that, right?’ Aneri seemed a little offended. She felt as if Aakash had forgotten the most important thing between them.

  ‘Instead, why not give them reasons to come together because of each other and not us?’ replied Aakash.

  Aneri didn’t look confident, so Aakash added, ‘Aneri, once they are sure that we are together, they will duck out of the agreement. And, frankly speaking, we won’t be able to do a thing about it.’

  Aneri suddenly became quiet. Aakash was right. Their parents had so easily agreed to their proposal just so that they could get them to tie the knot. Once they were married, their parents would surely back out. They would need something more solid to hold them together.

  Aakash looked at her and smiled, and Aneri finally understood what he was trying to say. Yet, she failed to understand why Aakash was proposing a ‘plain Jane’ marriage for them with all this talk on money and time running out.

  She quietly asked him, ‘So, what do you suggest? Shall we all embark on a road trip or a boat trip, just like in the movies, so that everyone can bond?’

  ‘Ah, yes! That thought did cross my mind. But it would still be an exercise in vain! A road trip is too exotic for a lifetime bond that has to survive the day-to-day odds and mundane lifestyle.’

  ‘Hmm…so does it mean that you have thought this through?’ Aneri asked holding Aakash’s hand in hers.

  ‘Do you really think there is no other way than getting married in a frugal and simple style?’

  Aakash grinned and shook his head, ‘Trust me, Aneri, if this plan works and we all are still together by our first anniversary, I promise you it will be beyond your imagination! But I need your support here. Our parents will agree to this proposal only if we both stay firm. It’s already a tad late since they have started the preparations, but it is better late than never.’

  He looked straight into her eyes before saying, ‘Aneri, let’s do this. Let’s create enough reasons for our parents to love each other, to be with each other. Let’s get them into a situation where they might not be able to leave each other.’

  His eyes shone with confidence and assured Aneri that her dreams were his responsibility now. The eyes expressed the simplest truth: that he loved Aneri to the moon and back.

  Aneri knew that this was just the first step and that they had a long way to go in this journey of love, but, at that moment, she considered herself to be the luckiest girl in the world. Aakash didn’t notice the teardrop that trickled down Aneri’s cheek. She swiftly wiped it off as he drank his cup of coffee. She casually clinked her cup against his to bring him back to reality and asked, ‘So, what’s the plan?’

  It’s commonly believed that parents know their children so well that it’s almost impossible to surprise them. So, when Aakash and Aneri announced their wish to get married in a temple, their parents were shocked! The ground under their feet shook as though hit by a colossal earthquake. Ashwin and Kinnari were aware of Aakash’s views on vulgar displays of wealth at weddings, but they had always dismissed it as idle chatter. Even amid all the hysteria and arguments, the young lovers stayed strong and held their ground.

  Neither Aakash and Aneri, nor their parents were ready to call it quits and were adamantly holding onto their viewpoints. But someone had to win. After a couple of sleepless nights and endless discussions, someone did step down, albeit without being left with much of a choice.

  Aakash and Aneri were almost sentenced to visiting a long list of relatives who wished to see them together in the city and even out of town.

  The date for the wedding remained the same, but the venue changed. Aakash and Aneri were to take their nuptial vows on December 12 in the presence of nearly a dozen relatives and friends at the grand Shani temple in Chembur.

  But, for Aakash and Aneri, the countdown had already begun. They had just thirty-five days to carry out their plan. In Aakash’s words, to be more precise, just five weekends!

  Chapter 20

  Friday, 2 November

  Early evening

  Aakash’s home

  ‘I DON’T WANT to listen to any of your excuses. Just back off!’ thundered an angry Aneri. Aakash quietly walked behind her as they entered his house.

  ‘You are making a mountain out of a molehill, Aneri. I don’t understand why this has upset you so much! If you disagree with what I have proposed, I will shelve this plan right away,’ Aakash tried, one final time, to reason with a fuming Aneri.

  Just as he finished his sentence, Aneri entered the living area of the house. As heads turned towards the couple, Aakash realised that bits of their argument had been audible to the family, and that the sight of Aneri’s angry visage had been enough for them to deduce that something was amiss between the two. Bharat and Ashwin froze in the middle of their discussion, Kinjal stared at Aakash with curiosity, and Chhaya peeped at them from inside the kitchen.

  Aneri flung her bag to the side and collapsed on the couch. Her father looked at her inquisitively, at which she threw her hands up in the air and said, ‘Aakash, it seems, wants a cook, not a wife.’

  Aakash retorted, ‘What rubbish!’ he intended to say more and opened his mouth again, but the look on Aneri’s face made him give up the idea.

  Aneri, however, spoke with more anger and viciousness, ‘I was so excited this afternoon as Aakash was coming for lunch at our place. He had said chhole is his favourite, so I skipped office this morning to cook for him. He appreciated my efforts, but the moment he sat down at the dining table, he started issuing commands like, “get a small plate”, “get an extra spoon”, “get the pickles”, and on and on.’

  She looked at Aakash angrily and added, ‘If that was the case, we may as well have gone to a hotel for lunch. Why cook at home? All through lunch, I was running around following your orders rather than enjoying the meal in peace.’

  ‘You are unnecessarily exaggerating the whole issue. Yes, I might have needed a few things on and off, and so I asked for them. Why are you feeling so offended? I was not rude or stern when I asked for favours.’

  ‘Aakash, it’s not about being rude or polite. It’s about your attitude in general. You were not considerate. I wanted to sit and enjoy your favourite dish with you. But I ended up feeling like a yo-yo swinging between the kitchen and the dining table!’

  She had no intentions of letting the issue rest for the moment. Looking at her father and her father-in-law, she persisted, ‘Why is it that only girls are expected to do all the cooking and serving, while the men just sit around issuing orders, huh? When I casually as
ked Aakash what all he could cook, he took quite a while before counting things like tea, coffee, bhel, vegetable sandwich, and milkshake in his list. Papa, he goes to clinic at ten in the morning, while I have to leave for the court by 8.30 a.m. Wouldn’t it be considerate of him to, at least, learn to prepare breakfast?’

  Aakash’s father had an amusing smile on his face for some mysterious reason. He looked at Aakash and shook his head, but kept quiet. His mom, however, came to his defence.

  ‘Aneri, beta, your living arrangements will ensure that we all will be there in the house. Your mom and I can easily prepare the breakfast, if that’s what you are worried about,’ she said, looking at Chhaya, who nodded her head in agreement.

  ‘Mummy, before we planned for all of us to stay together, we talked about how I would need to be trained as a daughter-in-law and to learn the ropes of your family’s lifestyle. But now that all of us are going to be together, why should only I be “trained”? It wouldn’t hurt Aakash if he learns a thing or a two about me and my family’s preferences. In fact, why only Aakash, all the men in the family can learn a few basics so that they can take over should the women feel like taking a break.’

  ‘Dad, Mom has a severe arthritis problem which prevents her from spending long hours standing in kitchen. Mummy enjoys practicing yoga in the morning. Do you really want them to leave their priorities and head to the kitchen every morning?’

  Bharat Doshi winked at her daughter and said, ‘I know how to make poha. And both you and Chhaya enjoy eating it whenever I make it!’

  ‘And I know how to make khichdi,’ laughed Aakash’s dad.

  ‘Not so easy, Papa,’ Aneri now showed signs of cooling down. ‘You all can’t just escape with making light of the issues or by claiming to make one or two basic dishes. Give us a few hours and we will see to it that your list is expanded to a respectable figure.’

  Ashwin Mehta enacted a bow which made Aneri burst into a laughter. Aneri seemed to be in a good mood now and, sensing a good opportunity, Mr Mehta beckoned Aakash to take Aneri to the terrace and sort out their differences in an affable way.

  It was eventually decided by everyone that, on the morning of the forthcoming Sunday, they were to have a date with knives and pans. Aneri, Kinnari, Chhaya, and Kinjal would be the teaching faculty and Aakash, Ashwin, and Bharat would be the pupils at Aneri’s kitchen plaza. The rest of the discussion boiled down to what groceries were to be bought and what would be prepared.

  On the terrace, Aakash laughed so hard that he almost fell off the cot. Aneri was bent over double giggling. She repeatedly placed her finger on her lips to shoosh Aakash but, in no time, she would start giggling.

  ‘This is absolutely crazy! I still can’t believe that our parents fell for the trap. I was unsure till the end if they would agree to meet this Sunday to spend time in the kitchen!’ Aakash spoke, trying to hide his laughter and assume a sober face.

  Aneri raised her hand and gave a high five to Aakash who pulled her towards himself and hugged her.

  ‘You should thank me for that. Had I not faked that anger and created a scene, they would have never agreed,’ Aneri said, raising her shirt’s collar.

  Aakash gently knocked Aneri’s head who was still in his arms ‘But, hello, you went overboard with your act. I mean, you actually scared me. What was that thing about me considering you a mere cook and not a wife? You made a scapegoat out of me and made me look like a misogynist! Dad already thinks of me as an irresponsible brat, and now with your string of accusations, only God can save me.’

  ‘Take a chill pill, yaar!’ consoled Aneri. She added cheerfully, ‘Even though it was a little too dramatic, we managed to pull it off. You wanted them to bond over cooking skills and Sunday is going to be a blast!’

  Aakash, however, was still sulking when he said, ‘And you just mentioned bhel and vegetable sandwich as the dishes that I can make, although I remember telling you that I also know how to make cheese sandwich and Chinese bhel.Ya, and Maggi noodles as well.’

  ‘Awwww!’ Aneri softly ruffled his hair and cupped his chin in her palms.

  ‘I am so sorry,’ the fake apology sounded more naughty than genuine. But it came out in such a cute manner that it melted away Aakash’s irritation.

  ‘It’s important that our mothers bond well when they are together on Sunday. Our plan aims at their area of interest,’ said Aakash.

  Before Aneri could reply, they heard the sound of someone clearing their throat close by. It was Kinjal. She was standing near the terrace door with her arms folded and an expression of disbelief written clearly on her face. When their eyes met, she spoke with a tone of utter disbelief. ‘Dad sent me up to see if you both were still quarreling. And look at both of you? Perfect devils. Have you both run out of the shame yet?’

  Aakash and Aneri looked at each other. They realized that now they had a third partner in crime as they studied Kinjal’s mixed expression.

  ‘Look at the state of the kitchen! It looks like a tornado went through it!’ exclaimed Chhaya. The two families had just settled down at the dining table at Aneri’s house.

  ‘It’s enough to send my maid scurrying away from the house. And if that happens, be prepared to spend another session in the kitchen, cleaning utensils!’ Chhaya seemed rather amused to find the two older men dusting off flour from their clothes.

  It was a hot Sunday afternoon and three hours of surviving a cooking class had taken its toll on the people who seldom cooked. Ashwin, Bharat, and Aakash were exhausted, yet excited, as they sat down to eat what they had prepared.

  ‘Really, hats off to you girls! One day in the kitchen has made me appreciate what you do on a daily basis,’ said a drained Bharat Doshi, collapsing on the dining chair.

  ‘Phew! When Motabhai taught me how to make poha, it was a cakewalk. But I had no idea that something as easy as preparing a roti could be so tough!’ said Aakash, referring to Aneri’s dad whom he had fondly taken to calling Motabhai owing to his young looks.

  As Aneri, who sat beside him, opened the casserole containing the odd-shaped rotis, Aakash whispered in her ears, ‘Pass that top roti to me! I know that shape pretty well by now.’

  Aneri, instead of passing it to Aakash, placed it on her plate.

  ‘Making poha may have been a cakewalk, but it had too much salt in it!’ she said, playfully mock-boxing one of Aakash’s ears.

  Ashwin was not one to miss out on giving his feedback on the experience. He shrugged his forearms and said, ‘stir the dal nonstop for half an hour – a tip Kinnari gave me to make it homogenous. I had to stir it endlessly before I was told that it was finally ready. I wonder how she puts it on the gas, then cuts the vegetables, goes for a bath, and then returns to that stove to serve us delicious dal for lunch!’ he said.

  The day clearly belonged to Chhaya and Kinnari as they discussed their unique methods of cooking, sharing some kitchen secrets and exchanging recipes. In order to familiarize each other with their respective meal choices, their discussions included dishes from various international cuisines like Chinese, Mexican, and Italian. Everyone had a great time, chatting, cooking and eating.

  As they finally savoured the sweet dish, they were all praise of Aneri for coming up with the brilliant idea of a culinary workshop. Aneri looked at Aakash and gave him a mental thumbs-up. Their little plan was working.

  As if the gods, too, approved and wished to hasten their plan along, they overheard Kinnari tell Chhaya, ‘You really are an expert in North Indian cuisine, whereas I love experimenting with Italian cuisine. After marriage, we will have plenty of time to learn from one another.’

  Aakash held Aneri’s hand under the table, and wouldn’t have let go, had it not been for Bharat who, annoyingly for the couple, instructed Aneri to eat her dessert with her right hand instead of struggling with her left.

  Chapter 21

  ‘ARE YOU GUYS totally crazy?’ exclaimed Uttam, aghast at hearing the scheming that Aakash and Aneri had been indulging in lately
. Apeksha, Milan, and Ashish, too, stared at Aakash and Aneri in amazement. Uttam’s fiancée, Nitya, sitting with her legs folded up to her chest on the dental chair, listened intently. Aakash had missed his last fortnight gathering at Apeksha’s clinic and everyone had presumed that he was busy courting Aneri. They were all meeting Aneri for the first time today. She was the special invitee along with Nitya, Uttam’s fiancée. Both of them had promised to join the group on the condition that there would be no dental discussions. As the condition was being strictly adhered to, Aneri and Nitya easily became a part of the friend circle. Aakash and Aneri had just finished narrating to them the broad details of their plans for and after marriage and everyone just had one look on their faces – stunned disbelief!

  ‘Aakash, are you for real? Why, buddy, why?’ asked a perplexed Uttam. Aakash smiled, ‘Come on! Why can’t an atypical decision be taken if it happens to be the best one? You are astounded just because there isn’t an obligatory precedence. Not waiting for one is synonymous to not wanting one.’ Uttam shrugged his shoulders, while Milan commented, ‘Dude, are we even going to be invited to your temple wedding?’

  ‘You all are invited! I am sure the temple will not be contaminated by your presence,’ laughed Aneri. ‘And you shall be invited to a grand party on our first anniversary,’ Aakash said with his fingers crossed, he said, ‘for we will have good reason to celebrate. To applaud our togetherness.’ ‘Well, you seem to be doing a pretty good job already at Mission Parent Amalgamation,’ Uttam laughed, as he heard their amusing kitchen-date incident.

  ‘Usually, an arranged marriage necessitates the parents to play the role of matchmakers,’ said Ashish. ‘But, in your case, you guys sound like the matchmakers for a friendship between your parents, whose only common thread seems to be their about-to-get married kids!’ He threw a playful wink at Aakash.